Home Ownership: 12 Bullsh*t Reasons I Still Own My House…

Some Of The Cons Of Home-Ownership Have My Inner Jackass Speaking Up Lately…And He Has Some Valid Points.

In a minute I’m going to go all third person on you (or me?). But first, let’s set the stage for the little personal tongue-lashing I’m about to give myself in the name of progress. Ever ponder whether traditional homeownership is right for you or your own “Nomad Experiment”? Hopefully this batsh*t crazy rant might help you think about some things they didn’t mention in the brochure. 😉

Different Strokes for Different Folks!

Yeooo! Don’t forget that I’m just one guy with my own crazy opinions! Please read what interests you and take it all with a grain of salt and a tongue in cheek! Good luck!

Of course, this was written before I went full-nomad. You can start catching up on my first year of nomad life after selling the house here. (But read this post first, since it contains most of the chatter that got me ready to sell it all!)

“I Should Have Done It Sooner”

The past year has brought around as much change for me as the past 8 years total sofar as total life redirections go. I’ve offloaded more than 75% of my possessions and minimized my footprint significantly. But the one thing that seems to be the constant thorn in the side is my house…and what to do with it.

I’ve gone back and forth and round and round on the options. Keep living in it, get a roommate, rent it out, get a management company, or just sell it and cut all of the strings and hit the road? All spinning in my neurotic cesspit of a brain lately. 

I’ve heard or read it hundreds of times; “My biggest regret is that I didn’t do it sooner…”. This is the classic mantra of so many people that finally sold most of their things (including houses and vehicles), and started a minimal, nomadic life traveling the world, short of all of the strings of their “previous life”.

That’s easy to read, but a little harder to actually follow that advice and execute.

READ NEXT: Lessons from My First Year as a New Digital Nomad – Sell It All!

Home Ownership 101: 18 Bags Of Leaves Can’t Be Wrong

The majority of these epiphanies came yesterday, after getting home from a 3-week apartment sitting trip to Seattle. I got tons of work done without the distractions of my home. Now that I’m back, I’m on day 4 of nonstop “catching up” on the chores that come with my dojo. Yesterday, after a total of about 4 hours of raking and bagging leaves, I think the camel’s back finally broke.

Enter My 3rd Person Self To Knock Some Sense Into Me

Here are the 12 Bullshit reasons (read: excuses) I haven’t yet decided to sell my house. Or haven’t at least moved on from living in it and its responsibilities. They’re lovingly accompanied by the smartass, sarcastic responses to those reasons from my often smarter but less friendly inner voice.

1. Homeowner Me: “I Really Do Enjoy Doing Those Home Improvement Projects.”

Smarter me: Really stud? That’s awesome, but I’m sure your friends would be happy to have you put those hands to work on any of their projects when you really get that hankering. The difference? When you don’t live in the dojo the projects are optional instead of mandatory. And I’ve had to hear you every time you’ve told yourself “I’m done with home improvement projects for a while…I need a break.”

How’s that working out for ya?

2. Narcissistic Homeowner Me: “Walking Around Naked Without An Audience Is The Best.”

Other Me: Really dude? I’m pretty sure you can figure out a way to walk around naked wherever you’re at. Be creative. And I’ve seen all your nomadic, hippie friends on Facebook; they seem to find plenty of places and excuses to bare their assets around the world. (You know who you are.)

3. Me: “This Fire Pit I Just Built A Couple Of Years Ago Is My Happy Place.”

Outdoorsy Me: This coming from a guy with a shitton of camping gear and the constant complaint that I love camping but don’t do it enough!?! The guy that built out a bed platform in the back of his jeep with storage so he can sleep easier on the road?

Campgrounds have fire pits, Einstein. Go!

Oh, and I’m sure plenty of your friends would love for you to grab a sixer and come sit next to their fire pit if it means catching up after way too long!

READ NEXT: Sleep in A Jeep Wrangler!? JKU Bed Platform & Storage Step-By-Step How To Build It
Is Life An Adventure Anymore? Reflections from Camping in Cathedral Valley in Capitol Reef National Park

4. Swedish Chef Me: “I Finally Finished My Kitchen And It’s Perfect!”

Other Me: I get it, that’s a big one, and you do love to cook. But do you really think that your kitchen is the only awesome kitchen out there? Just stop. I’m pretty sure you’ll make due in whatever kitchen you find, and you have plenty of friends with awesome kitchens who would be happy to let you cook for them. And their awesome kitchen might be in a part of the world you’ve never even seen…

5. Packrat Me: “I Like Having My Garage For Storage.”

Smartass Me: You said it yourself, you got rid of 80% of your crap. Your storage concerns are now a moot point. Past that, the “self-storage” industry is literally one of the largest in the US. Pretty sure you could find a place to put that other 20% for a handful of…wasted…bucks a month if you really needed to. Homeownership isn’t about storage dude. (Yes, there’s a deep dive on how big a racket—and waste of money—the self storage industry is in the book.)

6. ‘Merica Me: “Where Am I Going To Put The Doors To My Jeep When I Take Them Off?”

Traveler Me: #firstworldproblems. Jerk.

7. Unrealistic Me: “It’s Nice Having A Place For Friends/Family To Sleep When They Visit.”

Minimal Me: Right. Dude, you can barely count on two hands how many family or friends have actually stayed with you in the spare bedroom! And if your goal is to travel all the time, you don’t need a damn spare bedroom because you should be on the road! You need family and friends with spare bedrooms, leave the homeownership to them!

8. In Denial Me: “I Actually Like Doing Yard Work; It’s Kind Of Relaxing.”

Getting Angry Me: This is possibly the most bullshit, denial-based quote ever about homeownership. No, you don’t actually think doing yard work is relaxing, you tell your friends that because it’s how you cope with the fact that you don’t have a friggin’ choice! It helps you sleep at night! I’m pretty sure that camping, sitting on a beach, or just not doing yard work is much more relaxing!

9. Unrealistic Analytical Me: “What Address Will I Use For My Business?”

Realistic Analytical Me: You’ll figure this out if you do decide to go super-nomad and actually live out of a backpack or something. I’m pretty sure the “where will the government send me my tax obligations” question will be easier to answer than other questions that will come up. There are also plenty of virtual mailbox companies out there. 

READ NEXT: Virtual Mailbox 101: What is a Virtual Mailbox & How I Get Mail While Traveling Full-Time

10. Whiny Me:  “I Like Knowing I Have A Place To Come Back To When I Travel.”

Tough Love Me: Why the hell do you need a place to come back to!? That’s called a crutch bro. It’s an excuse fabricated out of fear of the unknown.

You’re a growed-up now, you’ll figure things out.

The bottom line is that there are plenty of apartments or rooms for rent in every…single…city around the world. Pick one. Or stick to hostels, Airbnbs, camping, or all of the other options. And honestly, I’m starting to like traveling more than being at home anyway.

11. Follower Me: “Having A House Is A Sign Of Being A “Grown-Up”. I’m Old Enough That I Should Have One…”

Grown-Up Me: Yes, you clearly remember that bullsh*t conversation we had when you were like 28 or 29 years old. My bad, it’s what I was told all of my life, so I didn’t know better. Now that we’ve got another decade on that conversation, it’s changed a bit.

You clearly get it, that being a “grown-up” is much better decided by you than the world putting its silly, outdated expectations or “requirements” on you.

Been there, done it, now move on and prove to the world that being a “grown-up” actually means making your own choices based on what’s right for you.

12. “Bless His Heart,” Hopeful Me: “It’s A Good Investment.”

Rational, Increasingly Aggressive Me: Two people invest in stocks. Over nine years, once all of the opportunity costs, maintenance costs, etc., are added up, one pulls a 12% return and one pulls a 3% return. Technically they’re both investments, and technically one of them is a bad investment. Guess which one you are, Einstein. (The second person. The second person is you dude.)

This is some of the time-tested BS jargon everyone has heard while growing up. And yes, it may even be valid for folks with a bun or two in the oven, pets, and a spouse.

But hey dummy; you’re single, with no more animals (RIP Bro-Dog), and no offspring (that we know of…). Investments need to be catered to the individual and right now is the time to invest in travel and seeing the world, not a 3-bedroom, 70-year-old, time-sucking money pit. Take that money and put it in an investment that doesn’t require dozens of hours of maintenance and lost costs every month!

I Feel Better Now…

Seriously. It is different strokes for different folks. But if you’re here because you’re interested in your own kind of Nomad Experiment, the choice you make on homeownership is probably the single most contributing factor as to how much sh*t you end up acquiring. And along with that, how much of your time is spent managing that sh*t.

Bigger house, more stuff to fill it, more yard and chores, all adding up to less time to nomad the hell out of things and see this big old world and experience its amazing people. And keep in mind the longer you subscribe to that lifestyle, the harder it is to back away from it. Trust me, I can attest!

Choose wisely my friend!

Now on to the rest of the leaves…

Cheers!

Oh. And if you’re not quite ready for full-time location independence yet, maybe you can do it part-time…